Seven Funny Quotes By Actors and Actresses

by on August 18, 2013 | Comments Off

Seven Funny Quotes By Actors and Actresses

Who can resist a good, funny quote? There’s nothing like a quick one-liner that packs a funny punch. Actors and actresses have often been known to drop quotable gems on the world. Check out these seven funny quotes from some well-known thespians.

Steve Martin

“First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.” You can always count on comic genius Steve Martin to deliver a hearty chuckle! From his stand-up comedy to his blockbuster movies to his fun-loving banjo band, Steve Martin is guaranteed to tickle the funny bone.

George Burns

“Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. When I was 65 I still had pimples.” George Burns and jokes about aging go together like ham and cheese. It’s great to know the comedic actor could embrace these jokes himself. Maybe his sense of humor was good for his health, because George Burns was still making appearances in movies well into his nineties.

Jack Nicholson

“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a bitch.” Jack Nicholson may not be the first actor that jumps to mind when you’re thinking about authors of funny quotes. It’s easy for his humorous side to be overshadowed by any of his dozen insanely creepy movie roles. But Jack can be a real funny guy, as this quote quickly proves.

Joan Rivers

“I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes – and six months later you have to start all over again.” One of the original queens of comedy, Joan Rivers always has plenty of funny one-liners. But it’s hard to imagine this luxury-loving fashionista making beds and washing dishes or doing any other kind of housework – even if it’s just once every six months!

Jerry Seinfeld

“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two! Does that sound right? That means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” Yes, a good number of people fear public speaking – not that there’s anything wrong with that. This is a classic bit of Seinfeld humor that can be easily shared during Festivus dinner.

Caroline Rhea

“My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.” As a woman who has been open about her struggles with weight, Caroline Rhea has no shortage of funny observations about diet and exercise.

Marilyn Monroe

“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” Who better than Marilyn Monroe, one of the all-time most famous actresses, to round out this list of actor/actresses quotes? Although she may not be the funniest person to have ever lived, Marilyn sure did have a good streak of humor running through her. It can be a tough task to think up a truly funny quote, one that gets passed around and recited over and over again. But these actors and actresses have all met that challenge. They’ve brightened the world!

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